Re-discovering your feminine voice
The voice of the feminine is generally one that has much less external translation in our culture, compared to the masculinised messaging we are met with for most of our lives. Which means that we are taught that precision, analysis, linearity and what is logical (according to the conditioned mind) holds far more value than our intuition, our feeling body, and our heart.
Because of this, the intuitive, heart-driven woman who is here to express core aspects of her feminine nature, both internally and in her outer expression and creative work, grows to believe that her feminine feeling, wisdom, gifts and most natural ways of being, are not as valid in this world. She grows to believe that her feminine voice is less worthy of being both inwardly nurtured and outwardly expressed- in her life, in her relationships and in her creative pursuits/businesses/work.
In my work with women, I see how the true, non-distilled desires and expression of the feminine soul can often feel incompatible with much of what we have been conditioned to believe our lives must look like. Incompatible with what we should be interested in, striving for and trying to do and achieve, according to the pieced together ideals we have internalised from what is extrinsically glorified around us.
With this, it is natural (and often deeply necessary) for a woman to become fiercely protective of the deeper longings of her feminine heart that seem to run counter to the ambitions she believes she should have. She begins unravelling from a way of being that has been ill-fitting and draining to her life force, and instead starts to cultivate a creative, soul-led, feminine-honouring life, lived on her own slowed-down terms. From here, she can finally start to hear her own voice more clearly. Yet it is also here that she often withdraws into herself, following an instinctive need to keep the truth of her deeper self close to her own heart.
And while this is a natural protective mechanism that helps her rebuild trust in her own previously-rejected essence and soul path, it can also illuminate a sense of separation, where her inner world becomes rich with femininity, vulnerability and heart, yet she still believes on some level that her outer creations/expressions/modes of work must be contorted into something that is more ‘legitimate’ according to masculine values and criterias.
There can be a sense of feminine value that she feels internally, yet somehow feels less valuable when she bumps up against many of the constructs of the outer world. A sense that her truest essence is something that must remain hidden and tucked away, saved for the privacy of her own inner landscape.
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As we are bridging these new realities of feminine unfolding- realities where we feels safe to exist in our essence, and in the unique contributions and the creative expression that arises from our true being- it can be a jarring sensation to navigate the void between the learnt familiarity of who we have been taught to be, and who we truly are at a deeper, soul level.
Author Helen Luke, speaking on woman and the feminine mode of expression says;
'[The woman] starts from secondhand masculine thinking and is frustrated—even panic-stricken—when the feminine soil on which she is working refuses to come to life. And this situation extends into her whole life. She has to learn to start from the receptive, the hidden, the goalless aspect of yin, and gradually the true light of the spirit will shine in the darkness.'
And I feel this deeply.
When I reflect on the distinct type of intuitive, soul-infused woman who is drawn to my work, I notice that she usually underestimates how much of her personality, expression, inner voice and beliefs have been developed within a culture that inherently glorifies the expression of the masculine. It has rarely (or never) been modelled to her that her non-distilled feminine self is wholly legitimate, and is in fact vital to her life force, fulfilment and creative expression.
The antidote to this cultural conditioning cannot be found in imposing more masculine values, expectations and linear, outcome-focused processes on top of her feminine essence.
Instead, she must be gentle and unrushed with herself in this liminal space of feminine remembrance, as she essentially re-learns the instinctive language of her feminine soul- a way of receiving Life that has often been repressed for decades of her life. A language that cannot be deciphered within the structures she is used to.
It is a process that must be honoured in its unique and non-linear unfurling, as she allows space for this feminine way of being to be cultivated anew. It is a process that usually looks completely different to the way she has learnt to 'develop' her self, her ideas, her creativity, her intellect, her expression.
Because the process of feminine restoration is less about developing the self, and more about reconnecting with her soul. It is less about ‘making sense’, and more about coming home to the unconditioned and instinctive senses that she has historically been taught to distrust. It is less about following a clear, mapped-out process for life, and more about softening into the unseen dimensions of what is uniquely hers to uncover from within. It is less about analysing herself and the world through the intellect, and more about relating and expressing from the feminine wellspring of her heart.
It is a feminine unfolding that doesn't arise through trying to force and fit herself into an already-established criteria of who and what she should be, but is instead uncovered when she begins to trust in the deeper, instinctual voice of her feminine soul. From here, she can finally experience the wholeness of spirit that arises, as she rediscovers her true essence and restores the song of her natural being.
hi, i’m belinda
Writer and founder of Soul & Self, an online space of feminine healing, gentle business and soft, creative living. Here, I write and create resources for sensitive, creative-hearted women who want to trust in their softer path and cultivate a life of beauty, naturalness and feminine spirit. Start here to learn more about what‘s offered in this space.
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