Why the feminine does not need to be entirely understood (letting go of the safety of masculine expression)

In our world, it can often feel safer for a woman to default to her masculine aspects, even if this is not the natural space from which she truly thrives.

One of the deepest roots of this, is because masculine expression is inherently rooted in mind-based assertion and tangible form, and as a result, is more easily understandable, (and therefore often acceptable) to those around us. 

We feel safe because we can construct (or more often, contort) ourselves into a form that we know will be validated by the overriding societal templates that are more overtly celebrated and rewarded, in both material and emotional ways (in other words, being in our masculine expression has traditionally meant greater financial compensation, as well as being more readily accepted, understood, celebrated and approved of in general) 

Our feminine natures, however, are not as easily understandable. The deep interiority and watery vastness of the feminine path does not necessarily “fit” into many of the frameworks that we are used to living, working, relating and creating within. 

If you are a feminine-essenced woman offering your service to the world via a business or some form of creative expression, you have no doubt felt the subtle push of contortion from conventional business paradigms, that silently demands you replicate the templates for business success that are readily understood and have been proven to “work.”

Yet this is also reflected in a far broader sense beyond business and creation, where as women, we can very often become fragmented from our true path, natural design and deepest union, because of how we have been unwittingly tethered to the false idea that our deeper feminine essence must be completely understood and definable within a masculine framework of perception.

This is something that has at some level laced the lives and creative processes of all of the women I have worked with.

And I have found that not being consciously aware of this tension between internal feminine design and masculinised ideals of externality, is what drives many women to relentlessly push and force against their very Being, as they inadvertently siphon the fulfilment inherent in their feminine nature.

It is what keeps a woman tethered to the insistent belief that her feminine value must be able to be quantified, understood and accepted before she is able to soften into her femininity. When in reality, it is only through resting firmly in the non-quantified value of her essence, that the true value of her feminine nature is able to be embraced and seen externally- in a way that complements and enhances, rather than lessens, diminishes or attempts to override masculine structures.

Something that is vital to know in relation to this (and explains why we may feel like we are repeatedly needing to re-extract ourselves from this pattern of contortion), is that there is a deep surrender of control that is required if we wish to soften into the roots of our raw femininity, natural gifts and pure essence of being as women.

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If you’d like to read more, the rest of this writing is now available in the ‘Soften & Bloom’ collection.

other full writings you may enjoy

The Feminine Art of Softening

How masculine achievement culture impacts the feminine soul

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