What is Feminine Integrity? (and why the world steers women away from it)

Something that has been arising a lot lately, in my own life and the lives of my clients, is the idea of feminine integrity.

In our world, integrity is often seen as something relating to commitment, follow through and discipline. This is often seen as the domain of the masculine, and something that feminine beings need to harness to get anything done.

Yet for a woman who has already been taught to unconsciously reject/diminish her feminine essence (which most of us women in society have) trying to adhere to this masculine idea of integrity causes a lot of tension.

This is because for a woman in tune with her feminine essence, masculine structures that try to overpower and impede on her feminine desires and deeper knowing, will cause a deep tension between what she is naturally designed and inspired to do, and what she thinks she “should” do.

We are taught to place certain expectations on ourselves, and then feel ashamed if we cannot meet them, or if we struggle to do so. We are taught that it doesn't matter what the internal wisdom of our bodies and spirits are telling us, as long as we are meeting the expectations of the external world.

What I have found, is that when we begin to honour and listen to our feminine beings above the demands of the world, we realise that our societal understandings around integrity do not really nurture the natural way that women are designed to be.

From a purely biological level, many women quite simply do not have the energy to be consistently productive in the way that society demands of us. Which means that many women struggle to emulate the discipline and consistency that is lauded as the template for “How to be successful” in our world. Women then either feel like they are failing, or become more and more burnt out, yet keep pushing themselves into depletion- emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

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Yet from a deeper level, I perceive that as women, we have an internal spiritual compass that is here to uphold the integrity of the feminine. A compass that consistently reminds us that beyond our doing and producing, we are humans with hearts and souls.

The feminine in her purest essence is not deigned to do things just to appease the external, or create an external outcome. She is not designed to be “disciplined" in a way that overrides her natural rhythms and heart.

When we consistently override this deeper feminine integrity as women, we perpetuate the belief that our feminine nature is not as important as the masculine-focused expectations of the world. We develop shame and guilt around the organic workings and desires of who we naturally are.

Here is what I have realised (and this is something that I continue to realise many times over in my life, relationships and business).

The feminine cannot be pushed by logic, or what seems to make sense. She has her own way of moving, and it has little to do with shoulds and timelines and logical progressions.

When I have tried to contort anything- myself, my creations, or my relationships- into what they are organically not, there is a deep feeling of disconnect and lack of internal integrity that arises. A soft, yet firm voice that says, “No. Don't make me into something I'm not.” (I have also found that if we don’t listen to this feminine wisdom in its organic state, it can change and distort into something that is not at all conducive to our lives, or those around us- anger, resentment, pride, anxiety, overwhelm and even depression).

Yet this is so often exactly what we do in our world to the feminine. We contort and push things so they fit in logical boxes that make sense. We downplay our intuition and our feminine integrity, with voices telling us that we are seeing too deeply into things, or we just need to ignore the wisdom of our bodies and heart. We are unconsciously convinced to create, live, relate and work in ways that are just not designed for us.

There is still a lot out there that teaches us that we cannot trust in our feminine natures. Yet the more we soften into our natural design, the less we are able to ignore our feminine integrity and the wisdom that she holds.

Belinda x

p.s If you’re a woman feeling called to soften into your feminine nature, start here.

And if you’re looking to create or grow your business in integrity with your feminine being, start here.