I find that the idea of femininity is so deeply engrained in our society.

Ideas like femininity as a trait (submissive, agreeable)

Femininity as a personality (soft, sweet, gentle)

Femininity as a set of roles (homemaker, mother, wife).

Femininity as a way to “get” something external (usually a man or money)

Yet these more one-dimensional ways of perceiving femininity, distort the organic nature of femininity and turn it into another ideal, another thing to strive for. It becomes something finite to achieve, something to use as a means to an end, instead of it being an innate and natural part of a woman’s essence that can’t be defined by any external manifestations.

In my own life, it was only when the intimate link between femininity and my spiritual nature was revealed to me, that I was able to begin to recognise the deep value and truth of the feminine.

I realised that organic femininity is an energetic and spiritual template that is significantly more than a personality, trait or role. A way of being that has a deeper spiritual purpose for us as women.

When we believe that femininity consists only of the synthetic ideals that have been presented in our world, femininity can easily be turned into another label. An ego identity. Another construct that we can use to bolster the self. Something to paste over our hearts (or alternatively, reject as an act of feminist rebellion) to hide from the real, raw and vulnerable process of living from our feminine hearts. Something that gives us another ideal to strive towards. Something that distracts us from the naturalness, beauty and truth of our innermost nature.

In our modern world, particularly in the age of social media, femininity has become a commodity that is sold and marketed to women. Women who have been repeatedly convinced that there is always more work to do on themselves. That being more feminine is another thing that they should be doing to create the lives they desire. That femininity will get them the man, the money, the lifestyle. That they’ll become more attractive, charming, magnetising.

There is no doubt that the mirage of synthetic femininity can be deeply appealing (and marketable). Yet it brings with it an extrinsic, linear focus, that inserts itself in the psyches of women as yet another way that they must place external, seen success and outer achievement on a pedastal.

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What I have seen, is that when a woman re-attunes to her feminine nature, things often DO shift in the external. But, as is inherent in the feminine, there is a timing and naturalness with this. And in a world that has convinced us that everything should operate on certain timelines, that we should be constantly in bloom, it can feel challenging to have faith in the more internal, non-linear path of our feminine soul.

Because alongside these shifts and growth, many things also drop away. The distorted/synthetic feminine disintegrates. False desires are no longer available. Unhealthy connections falter or naturally leave your field. Artificial timelines collapse, as what’s not meant for you falls away.

This shedding of skins, this releasing of what is not true, is often a raw and vulnerable process. A process that clearly reveals that the nature of embodying our femininity isn’t an a+b=c process. It isn’t a formulaic strategy that a woman can use to “get” something in the external.

Instead, femininity is the core, the root, the essence of woman. Which is something that exists regardless of what is materialising for her in the outside world.

This means that when we are taught to use our femininity as a way to get something in the external world, or when we see the nature of the feminine become tied up in rigid roles and personality traits and ‘shoulds’, this organic process is distorted.

Because femininity is a means unto itself, not a means to any end.

It is a deep state of intimacy with oneself, which instinctively allows for deeper intimacy with others.

A way of settling into one’s own naturalness, without there needing to be an agenda or rigid outcome.

A purpose that is inherently purposeful not because of any linear result, but because of the reconnection that occurs within a woman, that draws her into union with God, with Life, with Truth. A feminine reclamation that isn’t bound up in masculinised ideals of what a woman should be, but is instead a deep and natural devotion to aligning with one’s heartfelt desires and moving with the energy of organic Life.

Which is why the feminine path can feel so confronting. Because it is so counterintuitive to what we’ve been taught to value and strive for, which is all based in the outer, performative realm of life. A realm that centres setting clear goals and figuring out how to get them, as we strive and produce to meet the values of what is presented as externally valid. A way of moving through life that is so often at the expense of the deeper feminine soul.

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Yet for the woman who is returning to her feminine essence, there is a renewed sense of knowing (even if it’s initially just a subtle feeling) that basing her life on meeting a set of relentless external conditions rooted in masculine values, is not what will truly fulfil her deeper nature.

Her fulfilment is instead found on the feminine path that sees her finally making space for the organic desires that arise from the depths of her true essence.

It is found in re-attuning to the rich vulnerability of her feminine heart, as she listens to the truth of her being and gently untethers from what is synthetic, forced and in opposition to who she truly is.

It is found in restoring trust and faith in her feminine value, as she honours the authentic expression of her femininity and comes home to the inner richness of her feminine soul.

Belinda x

other writings you might enjoy

Why the feminine does not need to be entirely understood (and letting go of the safety of masculine expression)

Restoring Radiance, Naturalness and the Innocence of the Feminine Heart

Let's Talk About Spiritual Striving (and how it affects the feminine nature)